What Are the Rules?
Filmed and edited by Benjamin Shimwa
Dani sitting in front of a track sewing machine, next to a clothing rack with a few articles of clothing, in interview format.
Dani: I’ve struggled and I’ve, like, kind of gone back and forth because there’s certain things, just perceptually, that I’m more conscious of from the way other people see me. And it’s kind of like a- a tug-of-war I play with myself, ’cause I definitely enjoy like the colour pink, I love it and it just makes me happy and brings me joy. But at the same time I try to eliminate a lot of it from my wardrobe because I don’t want to put myself in any kind of, like, perceptual box in terms of the way that other people see me.
So, I’ve kind of flipped back and forth with that but ultimately I just wear it because it makes me feel good, and at the end of the day, I don’t think I really care that much about what other people think about me, I never really have. I’m aware of it, it’s something that I’m- that I have awareness of, but I kind of, in my own set of, like, rules, I ultimately just wear and choose to wear what makes me feel good. And, yeah.
I just kind of apply that in my wardrobe and yeah, I think it is difficult. I really did struggle with it. I remember like, being like, can I still wear this, what are the rules, are there rules, you know is it okay to wear pink, is it okay to still wear like a skirt once in a while? Does that change somehow like the perception of who I am to other people and I think at the end of the day like, who cares?
In my opinion, like, I’m sure that every person who’s going through this cares deeply and it is challenging, but I think having gone through it, I feel like I’ve- I finished that process of going through it. And even still, like today, like I sometimes ask myself those questions still, but I think what I ultimately try to ask myself is, what’s going to make you happy today in what you’re wearing? And then just go with that, because, you know, you- it always just feels better being yourself and so wearing what makes you happy is ultimately the best choice.